Historically I was never really a big fan of Christmas. For a variety of reasons it was a stressful time in our household when growing up and was something to get through rather than enjoy.
I imagine I’m not alone in that.
Even when older and living in London I would find myself at Heathrow airport a few days before Christmas waiting to board my flight to Dublin thinking maybe it will be different this year. But inevitably I would be back there a week or so later standing at the luggage carousel vowing not to put myself through that again the following year.
And yet for a long time, more often than not I did.
But that’s human nature isn’t it; the desire to hold onto hope that things will change even when the evidence is telling you otherwise.
The American Psychological Association defines hope as “the expectation that one will have positive experiences or that a potentially threatening or negative situation will not materialise”.
So whilst having hope is important when for example dealing with a serious illness, it can set you up for disappointment (as in my story above), prevent you from preparing for a negative outcome, or even lead you to start to believe something is outside of your power or control.
In my case, I eventually realised that blindly holding onto hope was the source of much of my stress and anxiety about Christmas rather than the event itself. If the situation wasn’t going to change then my mindset and behaviour towards it must.
Being realistic about what we can and cannot control is key to managing stress and anxiety. However, more often than not I see clients spending too much time worrying about things not really within their power to affect. Shifting the focus to what is in your control about a situation, like your mindset, and what you say or do, will lessen the time spent ruminating and feel far more empowering; leaving you with more time to relax and enjoy the things that really matter to you.
Wishing you a peaceful and relaxing holiday season.
