Well what a weekend that was. Even though the writing was on the wall, the announcement from Downing Street about a further lockdown is a huge blow for everyone whatever lens you are looking at it through.
For someone who has been largely shielding since March for health reasons and who supports NHS staff currently in the thick of this storm I confess to feeling a degree of relief that such a decision has been made.
However I’ve also had several conversations and WhatsApp exchanges with friends since Saturday and what I have noticed is how differently we all come at the same issue depending on our individual circumstances. I’ve really valued those conversations even if some have been more heated than others.
It has certainly got me thinking this morning about perspective. About the importance of knowing what our own is and being able to acknowledge that with others as well as how it influences our thinking on certain matters. But arguably even more important is that we take the time to understand where others might be coming from before jumping in to defend what we perceive to be right. In my line of work I often get brought in to help teams where relationships have broken down. More often than not I find a lack of or an unwillingness to understand each other’s perspective is a contributory factor.
I’ve also been talking with many of my clients lately about how they and others respond under stress; about how when our backs are against the wall old patterns of behaviour and unhelpful defences come to the fore, and how far too quickly things can polarise to ‘I’m right, you’re wrong’. As Anais Nin said ‘we don’t see things as they are, we see them as we are’.
It seems to me that what we could all do with right now is to draw breath and return to some of the basics of having good conversations, like really listening (rather than waiting to get our message across) and asking powerful questions that seek to understand. In so doing we might be better able to empathise and support each other at such a difficult time. I for one am going to ensure this is a daily practice for the weeks ahead.
